Bust a Blog

Madhuri Zindabad

2010-05-28T08:26:00.001-07:00

I missed La Dixit's birthday by a few days, but I still thought it'd be nice to post a few of my favorite dances of hers.

"Dola Re Dola" (Featuring Aishwarya Rai Bachchan...and some creepy dude that has a major staring problem.)

"Aaja Nachle" (This woman just seems to get better with age.)

"Humko Aaj Kal Hai Intezaar" (I love how no matter what culture one is brought up in, the 80's is always recognizable by fashion disaster.)

Kaahe Ched Mohe (featuring the same creepy staring guy in "Dola" and a couple of other creepers a la Jackie Schroff and of course, SRK)

And the list wouldn't be complete without the ever-controversial "Choli Ke Peeche"

Kajra Re, Tera Kare Kare Naina

2010-03-24T08:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how I can feel nostalgic about something that I didn't grow up with, but this song does it for me. It makes this gori bahut khushi. :)

Departure

2010-03-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

You have no right to be there. You hold no authority over them. Why can’t you see that you’re not welcome? There is power so far beyond your capabilities that even attempting to overshadow it will render you lifeless. Your schemes and falsehoods will only leave you tired and withered as they will not be successful in the end. Departing is advised. Never to return.

Six Letter Update

2009-10-14T15:25:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of change occurring in my life as of late. Usually, merely thinking of those six letters put together is enough to keep me up at night and even make me throw up a little. But I have found myself persisting, and yes, even thriving on my own. As in all things, I must give God the glory. But I'd also like to think that my being surrounded by wonderful people, eating fabulous food and listening to brilliant music has had a lot to do with my successful thrivingness (I'm not in the mood-for once-to use a thesaurus).

I realize that I'm being quite vague, and I'm OK with that for now. So vague I will stay. Plus I realize that things are still settling, thus the change-cycle continueth. But I suppose that if you're just dying to know what shampoo I have switched to or what brand of socks I am now wearing, feel free to inquire within. And also feel free to send prayers my way. That is a constant that I will daily-and nightly-welcome.

Turn It Off

2009-09-30T10:55:00.000-07:00

I scraped my knees when I was praying
And found a demon in my safest haven
Seems like it's getting harder to believe in anything
And just to get lost in all my selfish thoughts

I wanna know what it'd be like
To find perfection in my pride
To see nothing in the light

But turn it off
In all my spite
In all my spite
I'll turn it off

And the worst part is
Before it gets any better
We're heading for a cliff
And in the free fall I will realize
I'm better off when I hit the bottom

The tragedy it seems unending
I'm watching everyone I looked up to break and bending
We're taking short cuts and false solutions
Just to come out the hero

Well I can see behind the curtain
The world's cranking, turning, so wrong the way we're working
Towards a goal, that's nonexistent
It's nonexistent, but we just keep believing

And the worst part is
Before it gets any better
We're heading for a cliff
And in the free fall I will realize
I'm better off when I hit the bottom

I wanna know what it'll be like
To find perfection in my pride
To see nothing in the light
But turn it off
In all my spite
In all my spite

I'll turn it off
Just turn it off

Again

Canvas

2009-07-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

Is it August 25 yet?

Pigeons Beware: Ye Be Warned

2009-07-10T11:43:00.000-07:00

I have now added pigeons to the "animals that I detest" list, which quite saddens me, as I have had an odd fondness of the looked-down-upon "flying rats." But that fondness has now been shattered as one just defecated on me whilst I was parking my scooter at work.

Initially I failed to comprehend what just happened; I heard a splat, felt a warm wetness on random parts of my arms, legs and hands, and started to smell quite possibly one of the worst smelling odors. But as I looked around it was made clear as mud what had taken place. There he was - directly above me, hanging out on a pipe. It's as if he was just waiting for me to pull in. And I swear he had a smirk on his smug, little, beaked face as I cursed him to be the next meal served at the UGM.

Nevertheless, I have had a pleasant morning so far, and I am determined not to let a little poo put a damper on things.
If you'll excuse me, I have the sudden urge to wash my arm for the 92nd time.

Maxinji Var

2009-07-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

Again, someone posted this on a forum that I'm frequently on. I have no idear what the song is about (as it is in Georgian), but the music and video are absolutely gorgeous. If anyone can tralsate, feel free to do so.

We Are Not Long Here

2009-06-25T21:21:00.000-07:00

I've been on a Brooke Fraser kick for a while now, and it all became complete tonight as I met the nicest fella who happens to be visiting from New Zealand. So I figured I'd give a little shout out to the Kiwis with one of the most brilliant songs that I've ever had the pleasure of hearing.

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the felsh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared

Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just found, on the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive
'Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
An avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know You
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming

Other faves of mine from Miss Fraser (Ligertwood) include Albertine, Shadowfeet, Deciphering Me and Faithful.

Broken ball joint + torn axle = $$$

2009-06-23T10:47:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those days when you're driving and your wheel just pops off your car? I'm not speaking metaphorically here folks. This literally happened to me yesterday. Luckily I was just attempting to pull out of the grocery store parking lot and barely inched towards oncoming traffic as my car did this wibbly-wobbly-wonky motion and then proceded to sink towards the ground with a nice thunk noise. For a second I thought it was transforming into a robot, but then I crazily realized that, "My wheel just popped off...$%#@!?"

It doesn't look that impressive from this angle, but the wheel is literally holding the car up. If it had budged anymore, my car would have been kissing the asphalt.

This little bugger is the culprit. I hear these things rarely break. Don't I feel special.

The ~~craziest~~ nicest man in a tow truck just happened to be leaving Safeway as all of this happened. He gladly agreed to give me a tow (after finding out that he took my insurance) and instructed me to use the levers that pulled the car up while he guided the car with a jack. "Just push that one." Um, OK. He was a great guy, though. A big, fat shout-out to Art's Affordable Towing.

So I am out yet another good couple hundred dizzles. I really am trying not to focus on the monetary aspect of it, and concentrate on the fact that I wasn't on the freeway or in the middle of downtown when all of this went down. *staypositive* I am, however, slightly bummed that the passenger side fender wasn't ruined. I was kinda looking forward to getting another black one to match the other side, thus completely the ghettofabulousness of my ride. Guess there's always tomorrow. *fingerscrossed*

Stop: Hammer Time!

2009-06-16T08:13:00.000-07:00

Someone posted this on a forum that I frequent:

"Finally, a productive purposeful and uplifting use of a flashmob."

Indeed.

Saturday Surprise

2009-06-14T21:53:00.001-07:00

This weekend officially started the wedding attending season for me. My bro-in-law and I played and sang a song at the wedding of an awesome couple that goes to our church. Everything went really well, which was a nice surprise as we were asked only a week ago to perform a song that we had never heard (which was excessively twangy, by the way, and I almost didn't agree to do it because of it...kidding...kind of).

Aaron was kind enough to take a picture of me making this weird face, and as a result of me taking his tie, he looked like this:

We joked that he looked like a reject model for a B-grade romance novel cover.

Gotta give props to Sean and his tartan tie (even though it doesn't belong to the Lumsden clan).

As all of this was going on, my father decided to drive up to Spokane on his bike to surprise me (and apparently my mother as well, because she had no idea that he was even out of the house in Moses Lake: gotta love communication!). We ended up going Indian buffet for lunch and then to the driving range with Aaron until I literally had blisters on my fingers. It seems that I have great aiming abilities with my swing, as I managed to hit the trees on the left of the range 90% of the time. If only they'd put the holes in the trees. Afterwards we took a much needed nap and then decided to get up and drove around for a few hours.

My father the badarse.

Work-Out Etiquette

2009-06-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

Am I ever kicking myself for forgetting my earphones this morning when I went to the gym. I managed to take my iPod, but I must have brilliantly set my earphones down right before I walked out the door.

So instead of kicking myself mercilessly, I decided to put a positive spin on the situation, thinking that I could use the opportunity to do a little God-talkin and deep-thinkin whilst working out. Nothin happenin. I was constantly distracted by a plethora of unpleasant noises coming all from men who were "working out" (a.k.a. lifting weights that were too heavy for them).

The first guy, who was an ox of man, proceeded to produce X-rated grunts and groans while solely focusing on buffing up his arms which looked a lot like cured hams with unattractive tattoos. The second man who was behind me on the spinners (and was working out in jean shorts...God bless the Y) belched almost every ten minutes on the dot. And last but not least, the third man spent the whole time heaving and hawking up phlegm and Lord knows what kinds of other mucousy substances. And lucky me, I was the only one there who was disgusted by such happenings, because everyone else had flippin earphones in!

I did, however, manage to get a decent work-out in, which was definitely needed after yesterday's all you can eat wings at Cyrus O'Leary's. I might head back to the gym tonight to do some more cardio. My earphones will never leave my side again. Never.

National Doughnut Day

2009-06-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

There was a miscommunication at work (shocker, I know) and four dozen doughnuts were brought in. If you don't hear from me within 24 hours, it is because I have slipped into a sugar induced coma.

Best.Day.Ever.

No Raises This Year

2009-06-02T08:43:00.001-07:00

I guess it's to be expected. And it's not like it has ever been an astronomical amount, either. But every little thing helps these days. Looks like I really might be searching for a part time job to round out my schedule. Bye bye cable and internet...and perhaps my gym membership (which I'd rather not be poor AND fat, so I'll hold on to that one as long as possible).

Any (legal and moral) suggestions on how to make a few extra duckets would be greatly appreciated.

Blerg.

Forever

2009-05-25T04:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel so cold
Like I'm waiting around all by myself
Loneliness gets so old
I'm in the lost and found sitting on the shelf
Been stuck for way too long
But I hear Your voice
You're who I'm counting on

Oh, tell me You're here
That You will watch over me forever
Oh, take hold of my heart
Show me You'll love me forever

I know that You can tell
When I start to let my hope fade away
I need to catch myself
Open my ears to hear You calling my name
Been fighting way too long
But I hear Your voice
You had me all along

When I'm starting to drown
You jump in to save me
When my world's upside down
Your hands, they shake me and wake me

Poo Happens

2009-05-23T08:37:00.001-07:00

I caught another cat. Number 7.5 to be precise. I didn't get to take a picture of it but it looked like a cat and definitely smelled like one, too.
The beasts above were numbers three (a.k.a. "Tipsy," and yes, I am aware that it is tagged. Tipsy was unfortunately picked up by its owner and has been recently seen in my yard again. I have a feeling that it will soon become catch number eight) and four. I personally didn't haul away one and two (the good for nothing shelter actually came and picked them up...after much pleading, begging and cursing). And I'm not sure where my picture of five went. And six...well six got away because the shelter didn't pick it up like they said they would, so that's where the .5 comes into play.
Today's catch came complete with yelling and feces being thrown about. That's right, and in my car, too. I'm sure you can imagine how lovely the ~~smell~~ ride to the shelter was. It involved very loud music and both the cat and I screaming at each other.
Anyway, after the wonderful journey to the shelter I arrived at my office to find this on my desk:

My sister seems to think that I've upset the universe and now the mice are coming after me. I would think that they would be eternally grateful since I am depleting the number of their enemies (at least in my neighborhood...for now. :))

The poo has hit the fan. In more ways than one.

Gone to the Dogs

2009-05-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

Gone To The Dogs @ Yahoo! Video

I don't have a lot to say about this song other than the fact that I can listen to this song over and over and it never fails to strike a nerve every time. If you don't have KT's Acoutis Extravaganza, I highly recommend that you drop everything and obtain it (legally of course) right away. Thanks me later.

Catch, Release and Run

2009-05-03T16:12:00.000-07:00

This has been one heck of a weekend, and I'm glad that it is almost over. I just hope my poor knees will recover in time for me to actually walk by tomorrow.

So let's see, where to start? Friday, I suppose. I had an absolute stinker of a day at work. Just flat out sucked. I know in the real world one can't expect to get on with everyone they work with, but there's a specific person that I work with who is regrettably making me not even want to be at my job. And I feel completely helpless about the whole situation, for reasons I can't really get into. Ugh. I'm quite flustered by the whole thing, but I guess I'm just going to leave it at that and pray that it works itself out once and for all.

Anyway, moving on from work, also on Friday, I came home in a rush on my lunch break to grab a sandwich and head back to work as I was running late and had a meeting to get to, and lo and behold, I had caught myself yet another cat. (I've been meaning to do a post on my cat trappin adventures-packed with pictures-but haven't had enough energy to do so.) But the tally is officially six...well, it WAS at six on Friday. So yes, I was in a hurry and saw that I had caught another unwanted feral beast and I knew I didn't have time to take it into the local shelter. No problem; I'll give them a buzz and have them pick it up. I spoke to someone and they assured me that someone would be right over to pick up the friggin animal. Long story short, I arrived home later that night at 9:30 only to find that the cat had never been picked up and was still in the trap. Now I'm the first to admit that I really have little if any sympathy for cats these days, but I was pretty lit that the thing had been trapped all day and was still on my property. So I let the little bugger go...which added to my fury, because that means I have to catch it AGAIN. Frick on a stick. I'm still kind of wound up about the whole thing, obviously.

But the fun doesn't stop there. Not only did I come home to find the cat still in the trap, but I also noticed a large, lifeless blob on the corner of my street. That blob turned out to be a drunk man. Fabulous. Long story short (again), I called 911 and had to stay on the line until someone arrived, while Kase carefully watched the blob to make sure he didn't choke on his own puke. Lovely, eh? And all of this happened whilst a friend was in town visiting for Bloomsday. I won't be surprised if said friend never wants to visit again...or at least without bringing her own shotgun. I also have a pretty interesting story involving a midnight trip to the new WinCo Foods, but I'm going to save that one for another time. Or not.

Bloomsday. This was only my third year doing Bloomsday in the four years that I've been in Spokane. Last year I didn't run because I needed to give my knees a break. But this year I was determined to suck it up and run the largest timed race in the world (mainly to get the t-shirt...which is butt-ugly B/T/W). The times aren't available yet, but I surprised myself and ended up running/jogging 90% of the 7.5mile run. (Mind you, I did hardly any "training" for the event. My main concern regarding the race was where we were going to eat when we finished.) The other 10% involved dragging my legs in an army crawl type maneuver. I'm trying to convince myself that it would be worth driving 20+ miles to the gym to soak in the hot tub for a while, but I honestly don't know if I will be able to lift myself off of the couch. Tomorrow morning is going to be very interesting. Praise the Lord for sick days.

That about does it.

Book Tag

2009-04-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by mera dost Amit.

1) What author do you own the most books by?
It's probably a tie amongst C.S. Lewis, Ayn Rand, J.K. Rowling or Chaim Potok. I'll have to do an inventory when I get home.

2) What book do you own the most copies of?
Does the Bible count? I have about five different translations.

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
Prepositions always get in the way of goodly English...of.

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Fred and George Weasley. And not just because they're twins.

5) What book have you read the most times in your life?
Goblet of Fire.

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.

7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?
The Inheritance of Loss. It just ended. Like that.

8) What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?
My Name is Asher Lev.

9) If you could force everyone you know to read one book, what would it be?
I don’t want to be held liable for such a demand. But I highly recommend The Remains of the Day, Kite Runner and Anthem.

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?
J.K. Rowling. Not the best writer, but the woman invented her own sport and it actually makes sense!

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
Hullabaloo in the Guava Orchard.

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
Any book that they’d cast Lindsay Lohan or Tori Spelling as the lead role.

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
There are too many dreams to recall where I was enrolled at Hogwarts or used magical spells or was best friends with Hermione Granger. But who said they were weird?

14) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?
Rachel’s Holiday by Marion Keyes. Twas a cute story, but there were some definite bits that had me blushing and caused me to throw the book away.

15) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?
Atlas Shrugged. Snooze.

16) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?
Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.

17) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
Hindustani zindabad. ;)

18) Roth or Updike?
Neither.

19) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
I’ve only read one of Sedaris’s books never never Eggers. Sedaris is a pleasantly funny and descriptive story teller.

20) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
Kuch nahin.

21) Austen or Eliot?
Only read some of Austen’s works.

22) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Apparently not having read Eggers, Roth, Updike, Milton or Chaucer. Not embarrassed, though.

23) What is your favorite novel?
What genre?

24) Play?
Yes, I like to play.

25) Poem?
Not really a fan of poetry...unless it's singable.

26) Essay?
Can’tsay.

27) Short story?
Something by Jhumpa Lahiri or Salinger, as twisted as they are.

28) Work of nonfiction?
Reading Lolita in Tehran.

29) Who is your favorite writer?
Potok. So far.

30) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Stephanie Brown.

31) What is your desert island book?
Any book that can be turned into a canoe so I can get off of the island.

32) And… what are you reading right now?
The God of Small Things and The Gift of Asher Lev.

Tag (insert name here). Or anyone who knows how to read.

REDrum

2009-04-23T15:01:00.000-07:00

Is rum good for one's hair? Apparently someone thought it might be as they decided to empty the contents of their alcoholic beverage from the balcony on my head last night at the RED concert at the Knitting Factory. I'm actually surprised that I wasn't more ticked than I was after it happened. It probably helped that I rung out/sucked on my scarf for the rest of the night. *wink wink*

Ruminess aside, the concert rocked my face off...well RED did anyway. The two opening bands were lamer than lame (Inept-seriously, what kind of name is that-and Halestorm-the lamest of all) and we didn't stay for the "main act" (Trapt). RED was where it was at. Their vocals and musicianship were off the hook. But I really must be getting old, because I still feel like someone set off a couple dozen rounds of M80's inside my head, whereas my 17-year-old friend who also went feels fine and perky.

The girl that looks like me and I left after RED finished, but we couldn't decide if we wanted to hang around the merch area to meet them. We debated for a few minutes, but there was a humongous line and I really could care less about getting an autograph. So we were walking out of the premises right when a side door opened and RED popped out right in front of us. I instinctively walked right up like I knew them and briefly chatted it up with the guys. So cool. We even stumped Michael (the leader singer) who ever-so-brilliantly asked if we were twins (I'll definitely let that one slide). We wrapped it up with a God Bless and they were on their merry way to sign tickets stubs and sweaty t-shirts in the merch area.

Lame opening bands and alcoholic conditioning aside, it was well worth the $18.

These are cell phone pictures, so obviously not the best quality.

This is my fave song from their new album "Innocence and Instinct."

On another note, someone at work told me that I looked like a pirate with my cuffed pants and boots. I'm definitely taking that as a compliment.

"Remove head from sphincter, then drive!"

2009-04-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

How long have I been driving? Almost a decade. I think I should have the basics (i.e. using a turn signal, parallel parking, backing out of a driveway and NOT hitting a garbage can full of rocks and soil...you get the idea) down by now. I partly blame my landlord for doing yard work and deciding to "throw away" 5,000 lbs. of rock and dirt into my garbage can, and Kasey for placing the garbage can right along side the driveway. But I definitely can't avoid the brunt of the blame, as I was the one behind the wheel.

I really am trying to stay positive about this whole ordeal. My car is now affectionately and alcoholically referred to as Black and Tan, which lightens the mood a tad. And I can't imagine anyone wanting to break into and/or steal the car now. Maybe I should start collecting obnoxious bumper stickers like "NOBAMA" or "What would Scooby Do?" to put the white trash cherry on top of the ghettofabulousness that is my car.

Best. Music. Video. Ever

2009-04-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

I'm in complete awe of this video. I just...wow.

I'm in the Lord's Army, Yes Sir!

2009-04-09T08:55:00.000-07:00

One of my fellow coworkers decided to bust out in a peppy rendition of "The Lord's Army" during our morning meeting today. To be fair, our development team is notorious for venturing off on rabbit trails (and pulling pranks among other things), and the topic of Sunday School was mentioned.

While 98% of the team was wondering what the #$%@ was going on, I immediately was taken back to not only my Sunday School days, but also to the glorious days of Vacation Bible School where making pointless crafts out of Popsicle sticks, eating loads of creme filled cookies, learning annoying songs that referenced Biblical stories and studying memory verses was all that I looked forward to all summer.

Those were definitely some good times. The only problem now is that I can't seem to shake the feeling that I am not in fact a chubby little 7 year old girl with a bubble/helmet/mullet-esque haircut wearing stretch pants and an oversized BUM t-shirt with the urge to blurt out John 3:16 whenever someone says my name, but I am a 25 year old woman with responsibilities to a job where I'm technically not allowed to say "Merry Christmas" to people (run-on sentence much?).

It's kind of ~~scary~~ fun to reminisce about those times and recognize how much influence they had over my life, as silly as they might seem now. But I'm still in the Lord's army.

But Clouds Got in My Way

2009-04-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

My wonderful pastor (who almost has as good a taste in music as I do...almost ) brilliantly referred to Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now" during his sermon on Sunday, and I have been haunted by it ever since. This has to be one of the top five most beautiful songs ever written. It also has to be one of the top five most heart-wrenching songs ever written as well. My heart literally swells up everytime I think about it and it takes a ginormous amount of effort for me to not transform into a complete blubbering mess of tears. Oh, how I loves me some Joni.

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
Ive looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's loves illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

Chew On This

2009-04-06T06:38:00.000-07:00

So there I was, driving along and needing a little breath-freshening. What do to but pop a refreshing piece of Orbit peppermint gum to quell the unpleasant aftertaste of a decaf, skinny vanilla latte. I proceeded to put the piece of "peppermint" gum into my mouth only to discover after about two chomps that it was not in fact peppermint; it was actually bubblemint! WTP? I was crushed, CRUSHED I tell you! One of the worst sensations in the world has to be when you're expecting one thing and you take a swig, bite or gander and it shockingly turns out to be something completely different. I'm sure that some correlation can be made to a valuable life lesson here, but I'm looking into the more superficial meaning. Surely there has to be a way I can sue and make billions. Anyone willing to take my case?

Springing the Blue Goose

2009-04-05T20:22:00.000-07:00

That's right, I finally broke the old scoot out of the shed today. And what a glorious non-snowing day it was for scootering. I <3 no snow.

Something Worth Stealing

2009-04-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

The other day as I was sitting in my car, a friend asked what my favorite scripture verse is. Without even thinking, I placed my hand on top of the dash above the steering wheel where I keep a verse that I wrote onto a generic old notecard. No sooner had I noticed that the notecard I was grabbing for was in fact not there, it hit me that it was more than likely jacked with everything else in my car. Seriously!?!?! How ~~lame~~ ironic is that? Truthfully, I am still rather annoyed by the whole thing, but I can't help but chuckle just thinking about the miscreants that broke into my car going through their "loot" and finding a handwritten Bible verse. And people say God doesn't have a sense of humour. I beg to differ.

Philippians 4:6-7 (English Standard Version)
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(I realize that it would have been even more brilliant had the verse been, "Thou shalt not steal," but I still think it's pretty great.)

Things To Do In Spokane for the Morally Challenged

2009-03-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

I decided I needed to come up with a list of things to do for people in Spokane so they don't go around, and...I don't know...break into people's cars and steal things. I admit, every now and then when I'm really riled up about something (let's say when certain transient felines leave unwanted deposits in my yard) I could almost understand why someone might do something illegal...almost. But then this thing called a CONSCIENCE kicks in and I realize that I'd never get away with i...err, I mean, that it wouldn't be the right thing to do.

So here are a few suggestions to those people of Spokane who have nothing better to do than commit immoral and illegal acts:

1) Start a book club. I'll even suggest authors for you. Chaim Potok. J.K. Rowling. C.S. Lewis. Dr. Seuss. Assuming you crime committers know how to read, this is an enjoyable and beneficial thing to do. Heck, you could even get a library membership FOR FREE! You might even learn somethin!

2) Herd pesky neighborhood cats. Enough said.

3) Sleep. Since I'm assuming that my car was broken into in the wee hours of the morn', most people would be sleeping at this time. I suggest you give this a try. And no, that doesn't mean I support committing crimes during the daytime hours. Nice try.

4) Get a job. If you are looking to score some extra cash to get your fix or buy the latest Taylor Swift CD, apply to your local fast food joint like the rest of us responsible Americans and work the 9-5. It's not that hard.

5) Invest in, plant, water and grow some morals and realize that things don't belong to you for a reason. This, too is free...and beneficial.

That's all I can come up with before my suggestions start going south and hinge on becoming a wee bit violent and involve a plethera of profanities. Having said everything, I do realize (and truly am greatful) that my car was not actually stolen. Praise God in Heaven. And I am also thankful that my Nalgene bottle was left unscathed and I can (potentially) replace my CD player and my phone charger and my bluetooth and my 60+ CDs...when I have this thing called money. But the thing I have to fight back tears about is the loss of my favorite pair of sunglasses (they only cost me $5! A true treasure that I fear can never be replaced) and my Dutch Bros. passport for $1 drinks (because I sure could use a frickin latte right about now).

Feel free to share your suggestions of things to do for those who might be considering stealing things.

Starting Off On The Wrong Foot

2009-03-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

I just dumped a pac of sweetner into my oatmeal, instead of into my coffee mug. And I put hot water into my coffee mug, instead of into my oatmeal.

This is going to be an interesting day.

Pray for me.

P.S. And yes, I ate the oatmeal.

P.P.S. Why do people like Weezer? I've never understood, and when I'm willing to give them another try, I end up wanting to staple my ears shut. Do I have to pay Pandora to never play them again? And The Killers and White Stripes are quickly making their way to my hate list as well.

Crapped Off

2009-03-16T07:43:00.000-07:00

It happened...AGAIN. I won't even go into details about how I came to discover the big pile caked onto the bottom of my boot. There is not enough Febreze in the world to rid my office of the stench. Something must change. I'm taking this straight to Mr-Change-the-World-Right-Now-Obama. And for Plan B (since I know how long it takes things to get filtered through at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.) I am researching how to build a trap...and pricing out tranquilizer guns. You think I kid. I've had it.
In other news, my coffee is particularly delightful this morning and I'm having a decent hair day for the first time since I chopped five inches off. I'm going to try to drown myself in the Verona and stay focused on the positives...but I won't hold my breath.

Salute to Eagles and Old Men

2009-02-16T08:13:00.000-08:00

This morning at the Y there was a bald eagle flying around by the river. One of Kase's sweet old (seriously, he's 92) patients made the comment that it was appropriate, being that it's President's Day and all. I made the comment that I've never seen a bald eagle in Spokane before, to which the same old man replied, "That's because Spokane's full of old, bald turkeys."

<3 that 92-year-old.

Bang

2009-02-15T22:39:00.000-08:00

I always said if I found a pink gun I would buy it...but I think I would have a heck of a time fitting this in my purse.

(I'm not even going to comment on the girl in the background. Her face says enough.)

Life in Technicolor ii

2009-02-15T14:00:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought I couldn't love Coldplay anymore, they go and release "Life in Technicolor ii" (which is obviously a follow-up to "Life in Technicolor" from their newest album Viva La Vida).
First things first, I have to admit that I have a love-hate relationship with Coldplay. It's mainly due to my natural reflex of despising anything that becomes insanely popular, regardless if it's quality or not. So it always takes me a while to really appreciate their newest albums when they release them. Viva la Vida was a bit different, though. As soon as I popped in the album, they had me with the hammer dulcimer...wholly and completely.
Fast forward to "LIT ii" (as I like to call it because I'm hip like that). Not only has this song upped the anti of my appreciation of music in general, but the music video for the song has changed my appreciation of all music videos. You see, I truly do believe that video killed the radio star. I will leave my statement at that, as I don't want to go off on another soap box rant about the horrible world of music videos.
If what you are about to see doesn't bring the biggest smile to your face, then I suggest you go and get your feelers checked.

My SPAMmy Valentine

2009-02-13T14:45:00.005-08:00

Today at work we had our annual V Day celebration lunch. The theme was red and pink foods, and to make everything else seem extra appetizing, we had a SPAM sculpting contest. That's right, SPAM sculpting. I hear it's supposed to be an official Olympic category in 2857. And believe me, after shoving one's gullet full of the most random assortment of red and pink colored foods, shoulder of pig and ham is the last thing you want to come in contact with.
Anyhoo, this was the fiercest 2H competition yet, with a whole two entries. But it is with great regret that I must admit defeat by coming in second place. However, I am vehemently protesting that the contest was rigged and am demanding a recount! Rigged I tell you!
I mean, come on, which one would you vote for?

When Your Mind's Made Up

2009-02-11T08:09:00.000-08:00

I put up a post a while ago about a song from the lovely, lovely movie Once and how a song from the film had been haunting me for days. I can't even begin to describe how much I love the music from this film. I rewatched it the other night with some friends and sure enough, the music has yet to leave my brain (which if you know me, having music stuck in my head can be quite soothing or quite distracting-when I was wide awake at 3 a.m. this morning it was not so soothing-at any given time). The culprit that has been on repeat inside my head for 24+ hours is "When Your Mind's Made Up".
Cutting to the chase here, I was at The Service Station with a friend yesterday having a good chat when all of a sudden the familiar intro of the unique 5/4 time signature (seriously, who writes in 5/4? I can barely count in 5/4) came on and I completely freaked out. Unfortunately, said friend has never seen Once and had no idea why I was so happily freaking out. Fortunately, I told him we could still be friends. :)
I figure this pleasant instance of hearing the song in a random place is an omen of sorts, and that I should share this song with anyone who might happen to care. Enjoy...and then some.

Mausam: Season

2009-01-14T14:20:00.000-08:00

I can't even begin to describe how much I love this song. I first heard over a year ago and still find myself humming it for days on end. I was going to post the lyrics in Hindi, but my spelling and transliteration capabilities are quite pathetic. But I figured I could provide a rough translation, even though I feel the music speaks for itself.

To live life in one color for your entire life
This your heart's desire
Isn't right

Sadness and happiness are two paths
To walk on one path isn't right

Season changes
Happiness comes
Sadness goes

The Wind is Cold Tonight

2008-12-13T22:08:00.000-08:00

I wanted to write out a summary of how I spent my entire day at church (literally all day...and for good reason mind you), but my brain is currently out of commission and is engaged in listening to the 16 mph wind that will literally rip one's skin off and take the breath right out of one's lungs. And no, I really am not so desperate to post something that I am resorting to describing the weather. I am merely using it as a tool to draw attention to what I am doing on top of praying that the old tree in my front yard does not get blown through my roof , and that is listening to "Change" by KT Tunstall. The lyrical content is a bit on the sombre side, but the chord progressions and variations give me chills that don't rip my skin off.

CMS Wrap-Up...Finally

2008-12-09T10:52:00.000-08:00

I know you have just been dying to know how CMS went, even though it's almost been a month since it happened. I originally had a lot of things that I wanted to post about; little anecdotes and funny happenings. But I hate to admit that my memory has failed me (because I've waited so dang long to write about them). All I can tell you is that we had few hours of sleep, drank an excessive amount of coffee (have I mentioned how much I love Seattle?) and had loads of fun and learned a lot. And Irish accents. (I'll get to that in a bit.) In fact, I personally have things that God placed on my heart that weekend that I am still processing. And I think a lot of the other team members do, too. It's been wonderful working through them together as a team, as well as individually (even when it doesn't always seem so obvious what exactly it is that God is doing in our lives). Ah yes, and Irish accents. I think it's safe to say that one of the best bits of the conference was Kathryn Scott. For those of you who have never heard of her, she's a wee lil' songwriter from Northern Ireland with massive talent and a great, big heart for God. (And by wee, I mean physically; she can't be more than 5'1".) What I most loved about her (besides her sharp wit and love for chocolate biscuits and tea) was her humbleness. It was highly encouraging to see someone in such a great position with such humility. Encouraging and inspiring. Now I want a HobNob.

Anyhoo, here are a few pictures from the weekend.

Group photo ATTEMPT 1: Kase didn't know what she was doing with the self-timer. However, we think this would make a great album cover. And yes, that was our sweet ride with the infamous Ex-Cargo storage unit on top. Stylin.

Group photo ATTEMPT 2: I know this could be interpreted as contradicting, but we have to be the best lookin' worship team out there.

Best.Restaurant.Name.Ever. (For those of you who don't know, "phở" is a delicious Vietnamese soup that is pronounced "fuh." This was the phrase of choice throughout the weekend...and still used today.

There are plenty more pictures from the weekend that involve things such as Aaron's moles, a bout of sugar-induced madness and the grand spectacle of pumping up of the air mattress that Kase and I slept on (for about five minutes...then it deflated), but some things are best left to the imagination. Okay, here's one more.

Seriously, how could I not post this?

Glimpses of Joy

2008-11-13T10:56:00.000-08:00

Admist a rather crappy week, I have had a scattering of random instances of joy that were brought on by, well, random things.

1) Battery operated LED tea lights. It all started in a morning meeting in which there was a discussion of centerpieces for our largest fundraiser in May. As these little tea lights were brought to focus I naturally became distracted by them (as I could care less about the actual meeting). I noticed that there was a claim that the little buggers would glow for up to 60 hours. Again, naturally I was intrigued by such a claim and declared that I would monitor a random tea light for 60+ hours and report on any findings. Well the little guy exceeded 60 hours and lasted a good 64 hours. I still have it sitting on my desk and even now I can still see the teeniest bit of a glimmer, which makes me happy.

2) I have been working longer days recently and they have not been pleasant. Not at all. Two days ago as I finally made it out of my office and was looking forward to having a nervous breakdown in my car when I noticed that my driver's side rear tire was flat. *insert "waa-waa" noise here* After standing in the rain for a good two minutes trying to decide what to do, I hopped in my car and drove over to good ol' Les Schwab Tires, as my tires are from there and they will do all repair work free of charge on their tires. I was in the worst mood as I drove over, imagining that I would have to wait a couple of hours to have my car looked at, as people around here already have snow tire fever. But to my surprise, a good lookin fella came out to me as soon as I pulled in and told me that it would only be half an hour. Now, it turned out that I did wait 1+ hours, but it really wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. *wink wink*
This is what was in my tire:

3) I have the priviledge of fellowshiping at my church with some of the most generous and lovely people on this planet. I am leaving tonight after work to go to the Christian Musician Summit in Redmond, WA until Sunday. And I am going with five other people that make up the worship team at my church. Ever since we announced that we were going to be taking a Sunday off to go to this conference, we have had nothing but support from our church. A very dear, sweet lady is giving up her van to us to haul all of us over the pass and back. Not only that, she scrounged up a generous amount of money to give us as well. We have had many generous monetary donations that will cover all (if not more) of our expenses for the week. I truly feel so blessed to be in relationships with these people.
Not only that, we are all looking forward to going to this so much that we are practically giddy. I am definitely looking forward to getting out of town for a while to take a break from everyday circumstances and certain situations that have been rather tough and wearing on me for a while now. But I am also excited to see what God has in store for me (and the rest of the team) and hope to learn and grow a lot.
This is only a fraction of our team:

4) I laid down the Blue Goose for hibernation today. That's right, I bundled myself up right nice (almost to the point that I couldn't move anything except my hands and legs) and had one last go on the scoot for the year. And I must admit that as I was trying everything I could to stay upright from the wind pushing against my anti-aerodynamic-bundled-up-self, I had a fleeting thought that it really wasn't that bad and maybe I shouldn't put the scoot up just yet. But as I drove on, my ultra-stylish layers of two shirts, two jackets, two pairs of socks, boots, leather gloves, flip-up helmet and scarf started to fail me as the frigid wind cut right through and left nice pink mark on my skin. I decided that now really is the time.
I love the ghettoness behind me. Gotta feel safe locking up the scoot in this neighborhood! And yes, I realize that my schnoz looks humungo.

Here's lookin' forward to next week and the bouts of joy that may come about...s.

All is Well

2008-11-04T21:10:00.001-08:00

My keys have been found! They weren't anywhere terribly interesting such as in the freezer or baked into a lasagna. They were gently snuggled in between a season of "Gilmore Girls" and "Friends" on my DVD rack. Now if only I could find my tolerance for staying awake for more than two hours at a time...

P.S. Congratulations Mr. Obama. I pray that you will keep our country from going to Hades in a handbasket. Yes you can.

Esophagogastroduodenoscopy Update

2008-11-04T07:23:00.000-08:00

I'm alive and eating and drinking. Life is good.

Looking for more details? I'm afraid I can't relay any for you as I don't remember much. My coming out of sedation was evidently not very graceful. Supposedly, I spilled water all over myself, fumbled my way through talking about various things and had to practically be dragged to-and-fro like a freshly hatched deer learning to walk.

All I remember is sleeping, waking up as a few lovely friends popped in and brought me goodies, "talking on the phone" to a few people, sleeping, waking up as my sister and her husband brought me more goodies, sleeping, sleeping and sleeping. The most major thing I can't seem to remember is where in the world I put my keys when I arrived at my house after the procedure. Obviously I used them to enter my house, but as far as where they are as of now, only God knows. It of course came to my attention as I was walking out the door to go to work this morning. I spent a good 15+ minutes searching every logical (and illogical) place that I may have placed them (refrigerator, bathroom cabinets and inside the closet included). Waiting outside of work in the rain for someone to come and unlock the building for me was a cherry-on-top-of-the esophagogastroduadenoscopy-sundae way to start my day.

But yes, everything turned out "normal" (if normal means having a constant pain in my gut that is exacerbated by eating and drinking). For now, I am to make my way through a bag full of drugs until a follow-up consultation in December. Looks like I'll be praying for Christmas to come early.

3:33 A.M. Pizza

2008-11-03T03:36:00.000-08:00

That's what time it is and that's what I'm currently eating. Why, you might be thinking, am I eating (or why am I even up) at such a time in the morning? It's all because of modern medicine. I have the pleasure of receiving an upper endoscopy tomorrow afternoon. And one is supposed to cut out all food eight hours and all beverages four hours prior to the procedure. And if anyone knows me at all, you should know that eating is close to being my number one favorite thing to do. It ties with sleeping...which is what I'm going to go finish doing because I'm done with my pizza.

Pieces

2008-10-28T08:34:00.001-07:00

I really don't like airing my personal laundry for all to see, but I've been so overwhelmed with change in every area of my life that it has become unavoidable to dodge. I am currently broken as a result of it and I'm ready to be made whole.

Generally most associate change with negative connotations. I have been learning how to appropriately deal with matters that I cannot (and do not, in most cases) want to control. I have been coping with the fact that not all change is horrible and that it is all necessary, whether it is obvious or not at the time.

I originally thought I would post some Sheryl with "a change will do you good," but Red goes a bit deeper with the following song:

Grey's My Favorite Color

2008-10-15T11:24:00.000-07:00

I started to write a couple of posts within the past week and obviously didn't get very far. I would like to take this time to write a few updates for those of you who might care a bit. Mind you, I have been battling a nasty, nasty virus for about a week now, so if any of my sentences make no sense whatsoever, feel free to point it out and then give me money because you feel sorry for me.

My two sisters, bro-in-law, a good friend and I saw BarlowGirl on October 4. Mandy and Aaron bought Kase and me tickets to see them for our birthday. That's right, BarlowGirl. I would like to take this time to give props to LeAnn for getting me hooked on these girls. There's nothing like divulging in a little chick rock once in a while-make that Christian chick rock. But it's not just their head-boppin tunes and memorable "yeah yeah yeah" taglines that gets me going; it's their hearts. The show was more than just a concert and rockin' music: it was a time of worship. Hands were raised, heads were bowed (in between banging from side to side) and hearts were touched. Musically, my only "constructive criticism" would be for the girls to mind their tempos and to urge their sounds guy to make sure their voices are clearer throughout the whole venue. Other than that, it was a very sweet night.

Moving onto work...ugh. It's definitely our "busy season." It's hard to believe that is really is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Except we're not aloud to promote all things religious, so I guess it's beginning to look a lot like...holidays. Bleh. I am definitely most grateful for my job, but I have to admit that I have been caught researching possible places for vacationing.

Family time. I don't really want to go into details because I'm flat-out pooped from talking about it, but there was a pretty good scare involving my father on Monday. Let's just say that some medical geniuses diagnosed him with a pretty serious malady, and shipped him over to the other side of the state, where another medical genius slammed everything the previous genius had diagnosed, and then diagnosed that he didn't know what was wrong. Confusing much? Exactly. That's what we're left with as of now. A big fat HUH? Anyway, Pops is doing well, all things considered. Thanks to those who prayed.

That's all I can think of for now. Oh, and I sold a couple more of my guitars for a decent sum. But as for now I am holding off on the PRS hunt.

My Heart Journey

2008-09-23T07:56:00.001-07:00

On Monday night, the girl that looks like me and two of my friends that I've known since kindergarten rocked our faces off at the Heart and Journey concert. Oh yeah, Cheap Trick was there, too, but no one cares about them. I'm still having trouble hearing people due to the fact that the sound techs were all a bunch of baboons that didn't know what they were doing. Everything was so stinking loud. And you know I'm not one for turning down a good jam, but the mix was so bad that it was hard to distinguish between voices and guitars. I would start to get quite miffed about it, but then Ann would belt out another luscious note with her sweet vibrato and all my anger subsided.

It really is a close call as to which group I enjoyed more. No one has as many inspiring and nauseatingly sweet ballads as Journey. And the new little Philippino man Arnel totally nailed Steve Perry's countertenor range as good as...well, Steve Perry...as did the drunken man in front of us who would turn around every two minutes that he could spare from dancing inappropriately with his wife and give us all high-fives. Except we didn't pay to see him. Well, technically we didn't pay for the concert either *thank you again Rose and Pauline for the birthday present*.

But what it all really comes down to is musicianship. The band members of Heart were fantastic. There was no what I like to call "guitar solo diarrhea", which the lead guitarist of Journey was having a major bout of (seriously, how many gratuitous guitar solos do you need in each song?), and they were spot-on every riff, progression and transition. Nancy Wilson moves around the stage more than I ever physically could. She habitually does this little thing where she does a lunge and then jumps up and twiddles her legs in front and behind each other (like some sort of rockin ballet move) and sums it all up with an outward kick. So awesome.

The moral of the night? Don't stop believing.

Rose and I bought matching Heart t-shirts.

Paula and Kase rocked the Journey t's.

Rose got a little too excited about the matching t's...and I got a lot uncomfortable. Which brings up an observation: there were quite a few homosexual (mainly of the female version) couples at the concert. I was completely unaware of homosexual tendencies amongst Journey and/or Heart fans. Go figgy. DISCLAIMER: Rose and I are not of that kind.

Falling Slowly

2008-09-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

This song has been playing in my head nonstop all weekend and I can't help but fight back tears each time I listen to it. I'm not setting out to write a movie review, but if you haven't seen Once , you need to take time to do so.

Just Keep Scootin'

2008-09-16T07:18:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to hold out as long as I can and keep ridin' the scoot to and from work, but I almost froze off my face and everything else that is precious to me on the way in this morning.
Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the fall. Love. But I'm everso confused as to how it can be so dang cold in the morning/night and hot as Hades in the afternoon. Kase and I actually went swimming yesterday after work. It was the only time I went swimming all summer. Remind me to tell you about me diving in and simultaneously having to deal with chlorine burning my nasal cavities whilst attempting to keep my shorts on. Good stuff.
Anyhoo, I don't mean to condemn my beloved scooter, nor the weather, for it all serves a purpose for the greater good. What I guess I'm trying to say is that I need to go shopping for warmer scootin' attire.

Genesis 8:22 (NIV)
"As long as the earth endures,
Seedtime and harvest,
Cold and heat,
Summer and winter,
Day and night
Will never cease."

Color Me Uncertain

2008-09-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

I'm toying with the idea of buying a PRS. I've narrowed down which model(s) I think plays and sounds the best (custom 22 or 24), but I'm completely stuck on what color to get. I know, it's such a girly thing to worry about. But girly I am and worry I do. Fortunately, PRS Guitars offers a wee selection of about 30 billion colors and finishes to choose from. Ugh. So if I end up buying one, it's going to be based on availability, because I got people who know people that can hook me up, yo. The following are my top five fave colors.
*Note: the models of the posted guitars are not all what I am looking at to buy. I'm just using them for the fine color examples.

Questions, comments, suggestions or monetary donations? Feel free to contact me.

The World Will Turn if You're Ready or Not

2008-08-25T13:42:00.000-07:00

So it seems that I should update a few things here. I experienced a couple of very significant events within the past week. The first one being my birthday.

That's right, the girl that looks like me and I turned the big 25 on Wednesday. Honestly, it hasn't phased me yet. Twenty five? That's it? If it were up to me (and I mean this with no disrespect to God whatsoever) I would be a significant age. Like 40. Let's just go ahead and go there. I can't imagine that 40 year olds deal with the drama that currently vexes me on a daily basis, right? Riiight. Anyway, I am currently waiting for my parents to arrive at my house to begin the birthday celebrations since they weren't able to make it up here during the week. Man I love my family.

The second experience of major significance occurred last Saturday. I saw KT Tunstall in concert in the ripe little town of Cle Elum, WA. Why Cle Elum, you might ask? Why not! I have no flippin idea why she chose that little Podunk town, but man am I ever glad that she did. The venue was at this cute little resort in the middle of nowhere (a.k.a Cle Elum) in the midst of the forest. There were maybe 400+ people tops at the concert. And my red headed friend and I were maybe 20 yards at most away from Miss Tunstall. My religion prevents me from idol worshipping, so I will keep my gushing to a minimum, but her concert was the most amazing musical experience of my life (all 25 years of it). I still can't believe that the circumstances were so easy to see her (the tickets only cost $20). I'd ask you to pinch me, but I bruise like an old peach. Anyhow, here are a few of my fave pics that I snapped of KT in all her awesomeness. Enjoy (and don't copyright).

I had a wee bit o'fun with Photoshop on this one:

Cat Shat

2008-08-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

I have absolutely had it! For those of you who know me well, you know how I feel about anything in relation to the binomial nomenclature of silvertris. I guess I can try to sum up my feelings for those of you who don't know me so well: I.Hate.Cats. Hate them.
Now don't get me wrong, it didn't used to be like this. I would enjoy petting the occasional feline, as long as it did what I wanted it to do (not bite or scratch me) and then went on it's way. That's the key point right there. Cats are not obedient. They do what the frickin want when they want to frickin do it. This includes jumping onto my roof at 3 in the morning and engaging in a round of coitus which produces the most horrifying sounds that I have ever heard, digging up my attempt of a flowerbed, and you guessed it, defecating their rotten insides on my lawn.
The last example is the one that has finally set me off. To paint you a brief picture of what happened, I came back to work from a pleasant lunch break at my house only to be plagued by the most putrid smell. (And being that I work in a food bank, I initially pushed it aside as there being a nice, smelly, rotten load of produce in the warehouse that we are gifted with from time to time.) But the smell didn't dwindle. On the contrary, it became more and more stanky. I'm talkin' burn-your-nose-hairs-and-cause-dry-heaves stanky. Guess where the cause of the fetid stench had decided to attach itself and traipse along with me wherever I went? That's right, the bottom of my right Teva was plastered with poo. I won't go through the details of how I actually rid my sandal of the smelly load, but it involved plenty of hot water and loads of disinfectant wipes. I was successful in cleaning my sandal after about an hour of scrubbing and scraping. But it wasn't pretty. And I have yet another nickname at work. I'll leave it up to your imagination to guess what it possibly could be.
So to sum it all up, I have had it. And in case you still don't understand what it is that I am trying to say, this picture expresses my sentiments pretty darn well.

Case Closed

2008-07-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

The burpetrator has been identified! Curly Mullet McGee is sitting in the breakroom at this very moment. He let out a fresh batch of gaseousness about five minutes ago, and as soon as I heard the violent eruption of gas I plugged my nose and casually ran into the breakroom to find him sitting by his lonesome. And I kid you not, the burpfest is playing an encore as I continue to type. I'm speechless. And typeless.
I'm going to get some "fresh" air.

Better Out Than In...Or Is It?

2008-07-09T14:08:00.000-07:00

I consider myself to be a pretty well mannered person. I pick up random garbage on the ground and throw it away, I usually say thank you and please and I ALWAYS excuse myself if I'm guilty of a little eructation. It's a general rule that I think most polite human beings should apply when such things occur. But apparently the rules don't apply to all.

I'm sitting here, minding my own beeswax and actually working whilst listening to some sweet KT, when all of a sudden a big, fat, juicy belch comes billowing through the hallway of my office building from the breakroom (which just so happens to be directly across the hall from my office; lucky me) and drowns out "False Alarm" just as it was building to a good part. It's a good thing that I had my hair up or I have a feeling that it would have been blown into a disheveled mess...or maybe even ripped from my scalp. Serioiusly, it lasted a good 15 seconds and had a reading of 198dBs.

After containing my disgust and holding in the unbearable urge to toss my cookies, I naturally ran out of my office to find the burpetrator (I couldn't resist it). I didn't even have to walk in all of the way to see the suspects: two new truck drivers that we just hired. I don't know either of their names yet, so I'll call one Beanie McBeardface and the other one Curly Mullet McGee. Now, I'm really not trying to discriminate against these guys just because of their profession, but I'm not going to lie and say that it won't be hard not to picture whichever one of the two guys belched as a complete pig for the remainder of time that we work at the same location. But I am determined to find out who it was that cared to share the outcomings of a past meal with the entire building without excusing himself.

I'll post updates on any developments in my investigation as I'm assuming that this will be a regular occurance. In the meantime, I'm going to request that my office be relocated.

Sweet Teannessee

2008-06-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

After spending a total of 23+ hours traveling by planes, a death shuttle from the airport and lovely family members' vehicles, I am elated to declare that I am back home from a very unforgettable trip. Where might I have journeyed to that required so much traveling? Perhaps London to visit Piccadilly Circus? Or maybe Yemen to brush up on my Arabic? Wrongo: my destination was the good ole land o'Tennessee. In case you have never been there (as I had never been), let me shed a wee bit of light on the place that my dear red headed friend calls home.

1) It's not as hot as one might imagine. Maybe my Texan heritage has roasted and toasted me enough to not be phased by such things but I found the weather to be lovely and enjoyable. My gams got their fair share of much needed sunlight and vitamin D, and became the blood donation center of choice for every mosquito in Bradley County. But I kept my shorts on the whole time. Viva la suntan!

2) Honey mustard is the Tennessee person's choice of condiments. For everything. Well, not everything I suppose, but anything and everything that is fried. I ate so many fried pickles and mushrooms that my intestines now have a fine breaded coating. But it was definitely worth it. Oh, and the sweet tea there will most definitely cause sugar induced comas. Drink it up y'all!

3) If you decide to go boating as a means of recreation, make sure that you know exactly where the keys to your car are at all times. (I realize that this is a good rule of thumb to follow when boating anywhere in the world, but I had to throw that in there for Bootsie.)

4) And last but not least, Tennessee is beau-ti-ful. You can't escape it. There are trees growing everywhere and out of everything and there are plants growing out of the trees. Everything is lush and green and full of God's glory. And when you escape the the gloriness (another word I made up) of nature and go into the city (i.e. Nashville) there are guitars everywhere. Beautiful paintings and sculptures and carvings of guitars (mostly Gibson) everywhere!

How much more beauty can one handle? I know I didn't get enough in one week. Looks like I'll have to go down there again and test my limits.

My Muffin Top is All That

2008-06-17T10:04:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to get this song out of my head for weeks.

Where has "30 Rock" been all of my life?

Bumper Politics

2008-06-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

As a rule of thumb I generally try to avoid political discussions as much as possible. I prefer my heated discussions to revolve around really important matters such as Bollywood, food and how much I loathe cats. But I was on my scooter this morning and came up behind a truck with the funniest (albeit a wee bit out of date) bumper sticker that I have seen in a while and I can't resist not sharing such a statement with the blogging community.

"Clinton vs. Dole

is like

Herpes vs. Hemorrhoids"

Nuff said.

Listen, Think, then Speak

2008-06-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

The following is from a phone conversation that I just had with one of the printers I’m working with on a project.

Me: Hi Printer. It’s Megan, how’s it going?
Printer: Hi Megan.
Me: Good.

How long have I been conversing? Almost 25 years now? You think I’d get the hang of forming a cognitive sentence by now. Apparently I still need practice. Along with incomplete sentences, I have also started making up my own words. The following are some of my biggest hits:

Reducted
Exube
Devouted

And for the life of me I have been having the hardest time not mixing up conscious and conscience.

Stayed tuned for more, as I am sure there will be plenty to come.

Hello Spring. It's Me. Are you there?

2008-06-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

I have coined a nice little poem to summarize how Spring has been treatin' us Washingtonians thus far this season:

April showers bring May flowers but in June there will be an abundance of cold winds and snow that will ultimately cause everyone to go into a state of constant gloom and despair.

Uplifting, na? In all honestly, I don't mind a bit of overcast cloudiness and hazy nimbuses here and there. But I am fervently longing to take off my grumpy pants and put on a pair of nice, happy shorts and give my gams some much needed vitamin D (and ride my scoot, of course). I'm starting to wonder whether I can weather this weather for much longer and am seriously considering relocating to the island of Bermuda, the Bahamas, Key Largo or anywhere that The Beach Boys sang about.

If anyone knows of any productive sun rituals or heat dances, feel free to give me a shout.

Best Twin Question. Ever.

2008-05-12T16:50:00.001-07:00

Monday, April 07, 2008
So I thought I’ve heard them all in my 24 years of being a twin:
"Can you read each other’s minds?" No, wanna guess what I’m thinking about?"If I punch you, will she feel it?" If I punch YOU will you feel it?"Do you have the same birthday?" (usually followed by) "Who’s older?"You get the idea.Anyhoo, a cute, little girl came up to me and the girl that looks like me at church on Sunday and proposed the funniest twin question that I have ever been asked:"Were you two born that way?"
Naturally my first instict was to decipher the phrase as a diss, and Kasey and I exchanged a confused yet humorous glance at each other before realizing what the wee las was getting at. Never have I ever or would I have ever expected anyone to ask such a thing. That’s what makes the whole thing so brilliant. Fortunately for me my smart aleck of a friend who happened to overhear the brilliant question took the opportunity to give a nice, confusing answer about complicated surgical procedures and magic voodoo spells as a means to satisfy the girl’s inquiry. But it ultimately confused the poor little thing and she walked off to timidly, glancing ocassionally back at Kase and me.Let this be a lesson to you all. If you’re going to risk ticking me off by asking a twin question, try to put some creativity behind it and I might not smack you upside the head.
Blessings.

Seasons Greetings of Caffeine and Joy

2008-05-12T16:49:00.003-07:00

Friday, December 07, 2007
So after a weeklong, highly combative and fierce door decorating competition at work the results are finally in and yours truly walked away with a $15 Starbucks gift card! And what category did I happen to bag? How about "Most Lame" (shouldn't it be lamest?)? Looks like all of my hard work of doing nothing has finally paid off! Okay, that's not true. I did tape up a few plastic bows and a picture of Santa Homer and hung a measly string of lights around the doorframe. And I did actually have a rather elaborate plan that involved paper macheing my leg, but things came up (like me being lazy) so I aimed my hopes high at the lamest category. It's all about strategy folks.

The Heat Is On

2008-05-12T16:49:00.001-07:00

Thursday, September 20, 2007
We officially turned on the heat in the bathroom this morning. My legs and arms will not see the light of day until May 2008. What a grim thought. And as I type this, I have to pause to blow warm air onto my digits in order to get them to move accordingly, because I left my "driving gloves" in my scooter and they are now glovesicles. But I'm not complaining, honestly. The changing of seasons always leaves me somewhat in awe. And don't get me started on sweaters: I heart sweaters...and jackets...and sweatshirts...and sweatpants. I think you get the idea. So I raise my warm mug of tea and say cheers to the fall. May it be a season of good change, cute sweaters and delicious soups.
"Nevertheless He left not himself without witness, in that He did good, and gave us rain from heaven, and fruitful seasons, filling our hearts with food and gladness." Acts 14:17

Please Open Your Flippin Eyes

2008-05-12T16:48:00.002-07:00

Tuesday, September 04, 2007
I must vent about this. Firstly, I will admit that I do not always see what I'm obviously looking for. But I feel that society in general is always looking for an easy answer and in doing so they lazily overlook things that are right in flippin front of them.
Perfect example: not even five minutes ago a lady walked right up to my office, looked at my name tag on my door and asked, "Are you Sheila?" Seriously? I was left fumbling for words for a good 15 seconds. I almost spurted out a big fat, "Are you serious?!?!" but thought it would be best if I replied with a different answer.
I will now be blasting Snow Patrol's most recent album, hoping that all will hear the catchy little ditty "Open Your Eyes" and it will be stuck in the heads of anyone that dares to enter the building for all eternity.

A Big, Green High Five for Lucerne

2008-05-12T16:48:00.001-07:00

I was pleasantly surprised to find the following message under the plastic lid of my Green Tea Peach yogurt:
"In the near future we will be removing the plastic lids from our yogurt cups. This environmentally-friendly act will keep over 800,000 pounds of extra plastic from entering our ecosystem each and every year!"
And there's a picture of a happy little cow eating grass on a sunny knoll. Now if they could just convince everyone to ride scooters, the world would be a better place.

I Felt a Change a’comin

2008-05-12T16:47:00.002-07:00

Friday, August 24, 2007
So how long has it been since I last wrote a blog? Probably the same amount of time that it's been since I cut my hair last. Shall we say six months? But I finally cut it last week. It's grrreat (I'm into Scottish accents at the moment: bear with me). I'll put the blame on the fact that I've actually been busy at work for a while now and by the time I get home I don't even want to think about thinking, thus making blogging impossible.Not a lot has gone down in a while. I still get up and go to work every weekday. I come home, harass the girl that looks like me into making me dinner, and try to entertain myself for 4-5 hours (which, thanks to iTalkies, has been rather easy) until I go to sleep and get to repeat the cycle all over again. Seriously, I'm not complaining. But, I would just like to say that it would be grreater if a certain friend of mine still lived in the same city as me. I won't name names, because I rather detest name droppers, but you know who you are Alysha. Oops, did I say too much?In other news, I turn 24 of Monday. That's right, just one year shy of half a century old. Honestly, my reaction is just "meh." I just want to be 30 and get it over and done with already. The good news is that I still have six years to accomplish things that I've always wanted to do, such as learn to play the mandolin, lose 3.5 pounds, convince everyone I know that there's in fact only one of me and that I have accomplished the unthinkable task of being in two places at once, go one whole day without complaining about anything, actually finish a whole song that I've written and last but not least, figure out a way to convince the media that knowing who got Anna Nicole Smith pregnant or what drug is running through Lindsay Lohan's veins does not make the world any smarter. Okay, that last one is partly a potshot, but I figure it's worth a shot.I guess this has been a sufficient rant for now. I'll leave you with a profound statement that my father always makes: "If frogs had wings they wouldn't bump their butts."How d'ya like them apples?Phir milenge.

Operation Ceiling Talkie: Successful

2008-05-12T16:46:00.001-07:00

Thursday, March 29, 2007
Scenario: Remove ceiling tile above Peggy's desk and place a walkie-talkie directly above her chair. Use other walkie-talkie to play God...and drive her crazy.
Status: HUGE SUCCESS! She had no idea where all the noise was coming from. Teague and I drove her nuts by yelling obscenities, singing random songs (mostly ABBA) and talking in various languages (mostly made up).
We have now been banned from using any form of communication device other than our office phones. But Peggy's going on vacation soon and we're currently cooking up a scheme involving industrial cling wrap and super glue. I can't divulge too much info right now...there are people watching everywhere.
Alrighty, back to "work" I go. I wish you good health, good thoughts, and good prankstering.

Operation Mousepad: Successful

2008-05-12T16:41:00.001-07:00

Tuesday, March 13, 2007
No one saw it coming। I successfully taped everyone's computer mouses (computer mice?) to their mousepads causing a state of minimal panic throughout the office. I know, I'm too bad. Teague and I have something equally wicked planned for tomorrow. No hints or clues right now; you'll have to stay tuned!Ah, the sun is shining and it's going to be in the mid 50's today. Absolutely lovely. I hate to admit it but I broke out the flip flops yesterday and was half tempted today to do so, but it was still 30 degrees when I came to work this morning. Only 53 days, 23:55:24 till Bloomsday! I'm so stoked! I'm currently working on the design for our team shirts. They're gonna be pretty bomb. Don't be hatin' just because I haven't asked you to be on The Cobras.
Alrighty time to work. And by work I mean eat a maple bar and finish my cuppa. Peace out.

All Work and No Play Makes Megan an Entertained Girl

2008-05-12T16:36:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Let me just tell you how wonderful my job is. More specifically, I'd like to talk about what goes down in the area of town where my office is located. Drug busts, hookers, hits and runs, wreckless truck drivers, crazies runnin around willie-nillie; that pretty much sums it all up.Last week we had a semitruck actually run into our building. It cracked the concrete stairs leading to the front door and almost took out the hand railing. Yesterday Teague and I were intrigued by what looked like a couple of guys messing up loads of new copper wire that was most likely ripped off so they could go and re-sell it. And just a few seconds ago I looked out my window and saw one of our workers narrowly escape getting hit by a jackass driving 9089043 miles an hour down our street.But you know, I honestly wouldn't trade the whacked out view from my office for anything, because as illegal and creepy as things might be around here, it keeps me extremely entertained.